Need To Get Closer

Some are already falling,
I couldn't tell if it was leaves
or birds filing across the street,
just like I couldn't tell
if you were flying low or crashing dead.
It got clearer the same way:
I got closer and only one thought stayed.
There was less a fight this time.

Oddly enough, I felt good this time last year. Better.
I was smart as I'd ever been.
The summer's heat meant winter's ice was thin.
And when it finally broke I was swimming
in all tomorrow's promise and today's shining.
But that's not the case now.

Though a time that's sure to pass,
I might have too much to get back.
You're not here and took all the feeling with you.
My family's going, gone; and there goes the other shoe.

Replacements aren't made so much as found.
And this time of year the earlier it is,
the earlier the sun goes down.
The night gets long like it gets dark.
I never did see well here,
so forgive me if I don't make it to my alarm.